My 10 year old son and my mom have a great relationship. They are very much alike; conservative old souls who were born in the wrong era. One day they were shopping for a greeting card. The purpose of the card was to get the best non birthday card for someone at my mom's job. She asked my son (at that time 7 years old) to help her pick out a funny card.
As they began their search for the funniest card my son gasped and grabbed a card. "Grandma" he exclaims, "you can't read this card. It has a bad word in it." Curious at what type of profanity would be on a card in this convenience store, my mom asks what word. "Sex" he replies and then covered his mouth. My mom is trying to figure out what he actually thinks sex is so she plays dumb and says "What is sex?". My son says "I can't tell you." My mom begs him to tell her, promising him he won't be in trouble so he leans in and whispers "Sex is when two married people lay in bed and kiss for a long time. They lay there and kiss for a loooooonnnngggg time."
And there it was.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Too Old For You!
When I was 4 months pregnant my work hours were from 10-7. My husband would have to be at work by 7:30, so I would drive our 9 year old to school at 8:45 and then drive to work. I would get there by 9:15 and have "quiet time" before I went into work. I enjoyed listening to the radio, eating snacks and reading a book.
One warm afternoon (still preggers) I sat in my car, window rolled down 1/2 way, reading my book and enjoying my quiet time. A guy pulls into the spot next to me. He's on the phone, speaking loudly, and standing around while he finishes his call. He turns and sees me in my car (trying not to be noticed). He says into the phone "Hey man, I gotta call you back. I'm about to holla at this girl."
I start to roll up the window but I'm not quick enough.He gets to the window and says "Hey, how are you doing?" I am always in a quandary when people speak to me when I'm at work. I always try to be nice just in case they end up being a "customer" but I in no way want to have a conversation with a man who is self reportedly going to "holla" at me. So my short response is "I'm good". He says "My name is blah, I think you look really nice and I'd like to take you out". I look at him, with no smile and say "No thank you". He is apparently anticipating my response because he quickly replies "Give me a good reason why I can't take you out". I very curtly reply "I'll give you three. 1. I'm married; 2. I'm pregnant and 3. I'm too old for you".
Now, I am one of those gifted people who looks younger than my many years, and though I had no idea how old this man was, judging by his dress, speech and unwillingness to catch a hint, I figured he was young-ish. He doesn't even think twice of rebutting my response. He states: 1. I don't care if you're married. What your husband don't know won't hurt him; 2. I have kids so our kids can play together; 3. I'm sure your not too old for me. I say "I'm 28".
He backs up and says "Ya, you is too old. Never mind."
Thanks.
One warm afternoon (still preggers) I sat in my car, window rolled down 1/2 way, reading my book and enjoying my quiet time. A guy pulls into the spot next to me. He's on the phone, speaking loudly, and standing around while he finishes his call. He turns and sees me in my car (trying not to be noticed). He says into the phone "Hey man, I gotta call you back. I'm about to holla at this girl."
I start to roll up the window but I'm not quick enough.He gets to the window and says "Hey, how are you doing?" I am always in a quandary when people speak to me when I'm at work. I always try to be nice just in case they end up being a "customer" but I in no way want to have a conversation with a man who is self reportedly going to "holla" at me. So my short response is "I'm good". He says "My name is blah, I think you look really nice and I'd like to take you out". I look at him, with no smile and say "No thank you". He is apparently anticipating my response because he quickly replies "Give me a good reason why I can't take you out". I very curtly reply "I'll give you three. 1. I'm married; 2. I'm pregnant and 3. I'm too old for you".
Now, I am one of those gifted people who looks younger than my many years, and though I had no idea how old this man was, judging by his dress, speech and unwillingness to catch a hint, I figured he was young-ish. He doesn't even think twice of rebutting my response. He states: 1. I don't care if you're married. What your husband don't know won't hurt him; 2. I have kids so our kids can play together; 3. I'm sure your not too old for me. I say "I'm 28".
He backs up and says "Ya, you is too old. Never mind."
Thanks.
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